The Problem: Why Is Forgiveness So Hard?

1.  We want to hear “I’m sorry.”

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. – Ephesians 4:32 ESV

but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. – Romans 5:8 ESV

2. We misunderstand what forgiveness is (and isn’t).

Forgiveness is not…

• • Forgetting
  • Ignoring
  • Pretending it didn’t hurt
  • Agreement
  • Reconciling

“And so woodenly, mechanically, I thrust my hand
into the one stretched out to me. And as I did, an
incredible thing took place. The current started in
my shoulder, raced down my arm, and sprang into
our joined hands. And then this healing warmth
seemed to flood my whole being, bringing tears to
my eyes.
‘I forgive you, brother!’ I cried.
‘With all my
heart!’ For a long moment we grasped each other’s
hands, the former guard and the former prisoner. I
had never known God’s love so intensely as I did
then.” – Corrie Ten Boom

“Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can
function regardless of the temperature of the heart.” – Corrie Ten Boom

The Picture: The Unforgiving Servant

“Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servantfell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” – Matthew 18:23-35 ESV

To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you. ” – CS Lewis

Forgiveness is…

• • A core value of the kingdom
  • A heart posture
  • A choice you have the power to make.
  • Freedom from labels and limits

The Practice

“Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” – Matthew 6:12 ESV

“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility,meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” – Colossians 3:12-13 ESV