Reading 1 Peter 3:1-22 (NLT)
1 In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over 2 by observing your pure and reverent lives.
3 Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. 4 You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. 5 This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust in God and accepted the authority of their husbands. 6 For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do.
Husbands
7 In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.
All Christians
8 Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters.[a] Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. 9 Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing. 10 For the Scriptures say,
“If you want to enjoy life
and see many happy days,
keep your tongue from speaking evil
and your lips from telling lies.
11 Turn away from evil and do good.
Search for peace, and work to maintain it.
12 The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right,
and his ears are open to their prayers.
But the Lord turns his face
against those who do evil.”[b]
Suffering for Doing Good
13 Now, who will want to harm you if you are eager to do good? 14 But even if you suffer for doing what is right, God will reward you for it. So don’t worry or be afraid of their threats. 15 Instead, you must worship Christ as Lord of your life. And if someone asks about your hope as a believer, always be ready to explain it. 16 But do this in a gentle and respectful way.[c] Keep your conscience clear. Then if people speak against you, they will be ashamed when they see what a good life you live because you belong to Christ. 17 Remember, it is better to suffer for doing good, if that is what God wants, than to suffer for doing wrong!
18 Christ suffered[d] for our sins once for all time. He never sinned, but he died for sinners to bring you safely home to God. He suffered physical death, but he was raised to life in the Spirit.[e]
19 So he went and preached to the spirits in prison— 20 those who disobeyed God long ago when God waited patiently while Noah was building his boat. Only eight people were saved from drowning in that terrible flood.[f] 21 And that water is a picture of baptism, which now saves you, not by removing dirt from your body, but as a response to God from[g] a clean conscience. It is effective because of the resurrection of Jesus Christ.
22 Now Christ has gone to heaven. He is seated in the place of honor next to God, and all the angels and authorities and powers accept his authority. – 1 Peter 3:1-22 NLT
Outline
- Theme: Christians should honor the Lord and submit to him fully. This will lead to a life full of hope, even in the midst of suffering!
- Wives: 1 Peter 3:1-6
- Husbands: 1 Peter 3:7
- All Christians: 1 Peter 3:8-12
- Suffering for doing good: 1 Peter 3:13-22’Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives,” – 1 Peter 3:1 NKJVThe word “Submission” can have a negative connotation. In a wrestling match, you have 2 people fighting in the ring in order to get the other person to tap out and submit, basically saying, “I quit, you win”! It’s a submission against your will.
Christian submission is a willing act of humility to honor the other person. Just as Jesus was submissive and obedient to God’s will, so a Christian husband and wife should follow His example. As Christians, we choose to submit to the Lord’s will because we love Him and want to honor Him.
Honor begins at home.
The top need for most men is respect. When wives honor their husbands through submission, it can create a powerful atmosphere where he can heal from any past wounds from feeling disrespected… maybe from a young age by their dad, a friend, or past relationship!
In Verse 1, Peter is not condoning a Christian marrying a non-believer. The Bible is clear from 2 Corinthians 6:14 that we should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. It was likely that neither were believers at the time of marriage but that the wives were coming to faith in Jesus before their husbands and needed some direction on how to deal with their questions now that they were saved.
Highlights from Premarital Counseling
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- Less than 1% of couples who pray together every day end up in divorce.
- The differences in one another can frustrate us, God is reminding us that we can’t get all of our needs met from our spouse.
- You can’t expect your spouse to be your savior and source of joy.
- A healthy marriage is not the absence of conflict, it’s learning how to handle conflict in good ways.
- Become a student of your spouse instead of a critic.
- Your spouse is not just your spouse, they are God’s child.
- Marriage is together forever and we are cutting off all other options to retreat. It forces you to work through the problems. The only option is to go forward.
- Have thick skin and a tender heart. Avoid developing thin skin and a hardened heart.
- Your greatest need is to learn HOW to love, not to beloved. We are already unconditionally loved by God more than we can imagine.
- Love God more than you love each other!
“Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.”
“A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change and she does.”
A former professor at Dallas Theological Seminary said, “People get married with a picture in their minds of a perfect marriage. Then after a few trials, they discover they aren’t married to a perfect picture, but an imperfect person. When this realization occurs, they will either tear up the picture or they will tear up the person. One of the great needs of every marriage is to tear up our picture of the perfect spouse and work toward becoming the perfect spouse ourselves.”
In Verses 1-2, Peter talked about Submission as an opportunity to win an unsaved husband to Christ.
It is the character and conduct of the wife that will win the lost husband… attitudes of submission, understanding, love, kindness, and patience.
In Verse 6, Peter pointed to Sarah (Abraham’s wife) as a model for Christian wives to follow. Sarah was not perfect, but she proved to be a good mate to Abraham, and she is one of the few women named in Hebrews 11.
In Verse 7, Peter gives Christian Husbands 4 Areas of Responsibility in their relationship with their Wives.
‘Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.’ – 1 Peter 3:7 NKJV
1. Physical: “dwell with them”.
2. Intellectual: “with understanding”.
3. Emotional: “giving honor to the wife”.
4. Spiritual: “that your prayers may not be hindered”.
In Verses 8-12, Peter is speaking to all Christians!
If you are a Christian, then that should be your highest association that helps determine your world view and decisions in life including your attitude, your marriage, and your business.
A husband and wife are “heirs together”. If both submit to Jesus and follow His example, then they will have an enriching experience in their marriage!
It might be good if husbands and wives took inventory of their marriages. Here are some questions based on what Peter wrote.
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- Are we partners or competitors?
- Are we helping each other become more spiritual?
- Are we depending on the externals or the eternals?
- Are we sensitive to each other’s feelings and ideas, or taking each other for granted?
- Are we enriched because of our marriage, or robbing each other of God’s blessing?
- Are we seeing God answer our prayers?
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